Am I Mad?????

Truly , Madly, I have created this blog and writing this post with no particular thing in my mind...

But When i think about why am doing this.. many random thoughts are coming  into my mind.... some of the thoughts are the incidents that i experienced before  and others are heard / seen / felt  somewhere ...

When I was 12 , I want to become  a Cricketer and to play for Indian Cricket Team .. But when I became 16, I was crazy about computers ...  I want to be a  Software developer and chose Engineering  And  at 20 , I want to be a director ...wrote many scripts .. Now (at 22) I just feel What is that I really want in life ?

I like computers , But I hate learning something  that Some One  may get more money  with it

I am in love with cinemas....It made changes in my life .... But I Hates it to the core some times..

I don’t want to work in banks or other shitty (IMO..sorry if it hurts ) govt office jobs ...  . Please mom ,  don’t force me to prepare for govt exams

I thought, I am different from other guys... But like most of the guys,  I got  screwed up by a Girl .. I dont want to get into details.. Shit , i cant forgot her .. 

I got a job offer from a  company . I thought my life will be changed after joining the company.. But only the World Economy Changed ..and the Company was worst affected by recession .....And I'm jobless  . WTF 

And I dont damn care about my religion or  status or job or caste  or  God or  whatever personally  ... but everywhere everyone  are asking me the same....

At last,  few  questions to the creator ( jesus or allah or rama or whatever u call ) : WHY u have  created this world ?????, what r u doing now ?? and what u ll get by doing it ?? And who created u ?? whether u r the source or u believe that someone else had  created you ??? if you believe  ask these same questions to ur creator

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Am I the most confused soul in the world ????

If I  ask this question  to my friends .. .They 'll say "Don’t worry Praveen , you will get over this"..  .. 

Is it so ??? if i ll get over  .. then answer me When ??

Do you guys think I am mad ?   My illusions will Continue ... :)